Communnication

Surprise roses from my wonderful husband!

                   Like every other married couple, Bruce and I occasionally get into a discussion that leads to communication problems.  The latest one centers around me trying to tell him something while he was watching the Baylor girls basketball game.  Since my husband graduated from Baylor University, he is mesmerized when the Baylor games are on TV.  Although he doesn't mind me interrupting him (he has it videotaped,) he first wants me to ask him to push the pause on the remote, then tell him whatever trivial thing that is on my mind at the time.  He has good reason for this since a stroke several years ago limits his focus.  Yes, I realize that men in general have single focus when it comes to watching sports.  However, Bruce really does have a handicap in this area.  So after eight plus years of marriage, he still has to remind me from time to time that I need to help him by stopping everything else, then making my comment or asking a question.
           At this particular time, Bruce grew a little bit irritated with me because he was immersed in the game, and I had failed to ask him to hit the pause button.  His frustrated question was, "What?!", and his facial expression was anything but peaceful.  I was simply trying to show him the beautiful floral arrangement after I had snipped the ends and put the roses in a vase - the roses that he had surprised me with several minutes before!
          My mother immediately came to my defense, regardless of the fact that I didn't need her to defend me.  I had to gently remind her that Bruce was only expressing his frustration because of his inability to focus on more than one thing at a time.  I explained that I was the one who had not followed the rules that, medically, I knew needed to be followed for good communication between us.
          It's amazing to me that, although most of us know ways to good communication, we often take the low road - the road that leads to misunderstandings and hurt.  Frequently, we choose the easiest route,  the road that demands our own way.  The one that causes us to rush headlong into a conversation without thinking how the other person might perceive our words.  The high road would be to think carefully, and prayerfully, before opening our mouth to communicate with someone else.  The road that leads to peace and understanding.            
         Thankfully, most of the time, communication between me and my husband is really great.  We are mature enough to respect each other with our words and actions which makes for a happy marriage.  As far as Mom inserting her comments into our conversation...well, lets just say that I have to consider  the place where Mom is right now, and gently remind her that Bruce and I know how to work out our differences, and we communicate in a way that works for us.

My good-looking husband after losing weight!

           And, why wouldn't I want to communicate well with a wonderful man who just surprised me with beautiful roses - for no special reason!